0. Unplug from the Spectacle*
1. Go to SALVADOR de Bahia.

a. by bus from Rio, for 185 points. there's one that leaves at 12h30 that will get you in by daylight, which will help with the rest of the shit. [24-30 hours]

b. or you can fly. it's more expensive.

2. Check the time

If it's 17h00 or before, follow the directions to LANCHA. If it's later than 17h00, follow directions to FERRY BOACH.

3. Get to the Waterfront

a. To get to LANCHA: Take a bus from the RODOVIARIA or AEROPORTO (depending on where you got in) to PRACA DE SE. The bus should cost 1.5 points. If you have lots of luggage or are longing for old world comfort, there is an EXECUTIVO bus for 3 points. Just make sure to go to PRACA DE SE and get off at the last stop. [45 minutes]

After you get off, look around. It's still daylight. Across the street there is a plaza with a large structure that says LACERDA ELEVADOR. Go to it. Look over the CIDADE BAIXA across the bay to the island of Itaparica. That's where you're going. Pay 1/20 of a point and take the LACERDA down. Get off and cross the street and walk past the horribly touristy round building. There is a large blue unlabeled boat terminal ahead of you. Go to it. Buy a ticket on the LANCHA to MAR GRANDE. It costs 2.5 points. [10 minutes]

b. To get to FERRY BOACH: Take a bus to RIBEIRA or BONFIM from the RODOVIARIA. Before getting on any bus make sure to ask the charger (in the back, where you get on) if the bus "Pasa Ferry Boach?". If not, do not get on the bus. The Salvadors are very nice and it's generally thumbs up all around. Which is good since I don't know what bus to take from AEROPORTO to FERRY BOACH. There also are taxis, but it will cost you over 30 points instead of less than 2. [45 minutes]

Once at FERRY BOACH (have the charger dude tell you when to get off), buy a ticket and cross to the island. It should cost 2.85 points, or 3.5 on weekends. Make sure to get a BEER for the ride.

4. Cross the bay / Drink a BEER [40-70 minutes]
5. Roll to ARATUBA

When you get to the other side, walk past tourists and hustlers until you see a bunch of VW vans. They are called KOMBIS and are a form of private mass transportation. Take one to ARATUBA. Pay 3 points and no more.

6. Roll Away the Dew

Once you get to Aratuba, you need to walk a few blocks until you hit the beach. When you get to the beach, look around. There should be a dirty scruffy Argentine (non-black) man drinking beer with his shirt off. He knows who we are. If not, just ask any one you see for OS GRINGOS or POUSADA O BIGODE or POUSADA ACONCHEGO.

7. Make sure to be nice to CARLOS GRINGO if he appears. He is the weird St. Peter at the pearly gates of the BRAZILIAN SOLUTION.

* this can/will happen en route